Sunday 23rd August although technically the early hours of Monday 24th August
Has been a little while...

I've just got back from Lancaster. Well, not just at 12..30 at night. Just as in this evening. I've had a brilliant time.

Went up on Thursday afternoon and had a lovely tea at Liz and Jim's, in fact must get the recipe off them cos it was yum. We watched Knocked Up in the evening which I'd never seen before. Katherine Heigl was better in it I thought than in The Ugly Truth but I'm still not convinced about her.

Friday I went a-visiting, went to see James and Ailsa and the twins and Marianne was up too so it was a real little reunion. We went to Williamson Park, just one of my favourite places ever, and played in the park. The girls are getting so big now, can't believe they're nearly one! Seems like they only came home about a month ago! They're properly adorable though, I reckon it won't be long before Ivy's walking and then the mischief can begin! Was great to catch up with them all and it was really sunny and warm, making my umbrella rather unnecessary... I'd forgotten all about the Lancaster hilliness too - flat old Pelsall has made me lazy, could hardly move my legs on Saturday morning!! On Friday evening we went to Greaves Park for tea and met the Badgers and Andrew and Carolyn. Much better food there these days, really enjoyed it, and I'd forgotten how much I missed going out with a group of people like that. I hardly ever do it these days. I sometimes go out for peoples birthdays but that isn't really the same because you never know anybody in the same way at things like that I don't think. So that was lovely.

On Saturday it was sunny again, shock horror! So me, Liz and Jim went to Ambleside for the day which was very exciting. I miss the Lake District. Which I didn't think I'd catch myself saying because I'm not a big walker but was dragged around it a lot in my youth, but it is undeniably one of the prettiest places ever, and especially in the sunshine. We played Crazy Golf which was very entertaining, especially Jim disease, and then had ice cream, hurray! Finally summer! (well until today...) Fab day.

Saturday night I went out for tea with Steve to Glasson Dock which I never even knew existed, so that was an adventure for me. It was so great to catch up properly with him and chat through stuff, I hadn't realised how much I'd missed it. Lots of food for thought too which is not going to be published on here yet. But it was fab, Steve is one of my favourite people ever, even though he does think I'm gullible (which I possibly might be).

Then today we went to Chaplaincy and it was great because it was so small which is the total opposite of what I'm used to these days, and had chance to chat to Hugh who was away last time, and Vincent, which was a really nice surprise because I thought he'd moved to Cambridge already. It's lovely to catch up with old friends.

Out for lunch again, this time to Penny Street Bridge which is one change in Lancaster I'm very happy about because it's soooo much nicer than it used to be when it was the Farmer's Arms! Lovely Roast Dinner and chat with Liz and Jim. Then home after being blocked in by Poppy the cat!

I just love Lancaster. I thought this walking around on my own after seeing the Waltons and Marianne. I don't know what it is, but something about it is just so appealing and brilliant. I know a lot of it is probably memories of my Uni days, because they were great, but I don't think it can be just that, because quite a lot of those memories are still quite painful. I don't know. I think it's quite a pretty city.

And I love Liz and Jim, I think they're one of the best couples I know. They both totally bring out the best in each other and I think it just shows that some things were meant to be. They really inspire me to be a better person. (Liz is probably reading this and thinking I'm talking utter rubbish!) I'm so glad I know them.

And I'm glad I know Steve. (Honestly, every time I go to Lancaster these days I come on here and gush in an embarrassing fashion!) I think Steve has been a really big influence in my life, especially faith wise. I still don't really get where I fit in the whole grand plan business and church is still a bit issue for me, trying to find somewhere that I feel comfortable, but I think talking with him really helps me organise things in my head. At the moment I'm split between 3 churches, trying to find somewhere I can be, and none of them are really me, so it's nice to know that there is someone there that I can talk to about things that will know where I'm coming from.

Right, loads more I could waffle about but for your sanity and my beauty sleep I won't. But I will end with a quote from that great film, The Holiday, because times like this weekend do make me feel worthwhile again. I really feel like me again, and I'm happy.

I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn't know you had inside you. And it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends... you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. And you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade.

Love love love xxx