Another pretty busy week in the life of me.

Before I forget, I finished "Flight from Deathrow". And nothing really did happen in the end but I think it was worth the read. It was very random and a bit mad. I think it's the kind of story Daffy would like, I can imagine him writing it.

So, Monday, a pretty ordinary day really, not much to report. Tuesday I went on a dance course for my PE development. It was alright but I would have preferred it to be a bit more practical (I can't believe I have just said that about a PE course, how things change!). Then Tuesday night I went to the pub with housegroup which was lots of fun, I very much love those guys and they have been absolutely invaluable to me over the last couple of years since I moved home.

Wednesday was THE DAY... photo day! I cannot describe how very nervous I was before we went in - there are no words - I was petrified that they were going to be awful and I was going to cry! So we went up with Jason (yep, Jason, not Jamie!) and the photos were projected quite massively onto a wall - eeeek. So it started off as a proper show thing, he'd put Superstar by Love Inc over the top which was quite nice, I kind of like the idea of being a superstar hehe. And after my name and all that shebang, on came the before photo. Well. It was truly truly dreadful. Very very flat hair, about a zillion spots, several chins and very shiny face. At that point I thought that this whole experience could be a very painful one. But, it wasn't. The photos were AMAZING. Truly fabulous. When we went through them again afterwards to choose which ones we wanted he said he'd kept loads in because they were all so good. He must have taken hundreds, and he said he normally narrows it down to about 25 for people to choose from that he's done all the art to and stuff, and after my first round of eliminations I still had 32! So I carried on whittling them down and I'm getting an album made up of 14, Mum and Dad are getting a wall portrait and they've got one for my Grandparents too. Album is due on 29th June (ish) and I can't wait. I was honestly gobsmacked how good they had made me look. So after this it was off to the pub again this time for Linda's leaving do from work, which was also very funny. Me and my classroom assistant Suzie got very silly and spent quite a long time re-enacting that Cadbury's advert with the 2 little kids and the eyebrows, which we found hilarious but oddly nobody else seemed to find it that amusing... he he.

Since then it's pretty much been work work work. Although I did have one very exciting moment on Wednesday night/Thursday morning. And it was quite momentous so I'm going to put it on here minus all the boring details. On Wednesday night/Thursday morning I had my first "man dream" about someone other than Chris for 5 years. Which is remarkable. And put me in SUCH a good mood all day on Thursday. There was nothing particularly interesting about the detail of the dream, nothing much happened, but I was with someone else and I was happy. And after the recurring dream of recent times it was a relief and it was a real moment. It might sound stupid getting this excited about a dream, but I have waited so long to be capable of dreaming about someone else and something else that this was really a big deal. I've always struggled with dreams, I seem to have incredibly vivid and "real" dreams, that when I wake up I can't tell if they're real or not. At Uni I used to have a different recurring dream where everyone I knew was moving to Australia, and the amount of times I woke up actually crying was ridiculous. In 2nd year I remember waking one of my (slightly weird) housemates up screaming and crying in my sleep. And my latest recurring dream is a pretty awful one to wake up from, because in it I'm actually incredibly happy, but then when I wake up I realise it isn't real and then I relive months of hell all in a moment and have to come to terms with a lot of rubbish all over again. So my relationship with dreams is quite a tough one really, because of how real they feel. A lot of people I know don't ever remember dreams, or they sort of know they're dreaming, or their dreams are so ridiculous that they know they're not real. But mine are so real, and sometimes I remember them for months, even years afterwards, as if they are real memories. So the top and bottom of this long ramble is that I was absolutely delighted that I had this new dream, and even if it was a one off I feel like it was a real turning point for me. Because I think dreams are a way of your brain working stuff out while you're asleep, and to me that signals that actually all the rubbish that's been happening is finally sorting itself out in my head and getting better. I may be reading too much into this... let's just leave it with "I was very relieved".

And this weekend is a long weekend and even better it's sunny! I went out for a drive yesterday. I love going out for a drive in the sunshine, stereo up nice and loud singing my little heart out. I love singing loud when no one can hear. It's such a release and I think it must release some kind of happy hormone in me.

Right, well I'd better be going, got a bit of work to do before I can continue to enjoy the sunshine. Apologies about the epic and rambly nature of this one, especially the dream bit, I expect no one wanted to read that bit much. I expect it's a bit of a let down not having any photos now too, I will attempt to find something interesting to put in the next one!

And now, just to make Sax Tim laugh....

Love love love xxx